Recommend a movieE-mails informales

Recommend a movieEsto es un email informal entre amigos, donde uno le escribe al otro para recomendarle una película. Como se trata de un texto informal, hay que usar lenguaje informal y se pueden usar contracciones, a diferencia de los textos formales.

Este email ha sido enviado por un alumno,Antonio B., y yo se lo voy a corregir para que así otros estudiantes puedan aprender de sus errores. Se trata de un writing nivel B1.

En rojo vamos a poner los errores, que los corregiré escribiendo lo correcto entre paréntesis, en verde las estructuras fijas que debemos emplear ante este tipo de textos y en azul las cosas buenas, tanto de vocabulario (porque sea adecuado para el nivel) como de gramática, que le dan nivel y calidad al writing.

Puedes ver las instrucciones de la tarea aquí: Can you recommend a movie?

Ahí va el ejemplo:

Dear friend,

If I were you, I would see ‘Mamma Mia! The Movie’ because if you want to forget your problems and have a good time, this is the best movie. I have seen it recently and I think you will enjoy with it because you have always liked ABBA’s songs. The cast is quite good and it has some famous actors. The plot isn’t very bad and the soundtrack is full of ABBA’s songs.

This movie is a musical comedy and it hasn’t got a lot of special effects. The star is Meryl Streep who plays the role of Donna. Other stars are Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard who play the part of Donna’s boyfriends. It was dubbed into other languages but I recommend you to see it in English.

The plot is amazing. Donna’s daughter, called Sophie, is going to get married and she invites to her wedding her three possible fathers (she invites her three possible fathers to her wedding). Donna, who doesn’t know anything about her daughther’s plan, is surprised by her older lovers. The movie, which was filmed on location in Greece, has an incredible end.

Hope you’re ok too.

Antonio

NOTAS:

El writing en su conjunto está muy bien.

A nivel gramatical, el alumno ha utilizado una gran variedad de tiempos verbales que dan calidad a su writing, por ejemplo:

– A second conditional: if I were you, I would see…

– Present perfect: I have seen it recently/ you have always liked

– Future simple: I think you will enjoy

– Passive voice: It was dubbed into other languages/ was filmed on location

Oraciones de relativo:

– Meryl Streep who plays the role of Donna

– The movie, which was filmed on location in Greece, has an incredible end.

A nivel de vocabulario, una gran variedad de términos relaciones con cinema: cast, plot, soundtrack, special effects, musical commedy, was dubbed into, was filmed on location.

Por último, algo que yo mejoraría en este writing es la manera de empezar el email, si es tu amigo el que te ha pedido que le recomiendes una película, no empezarías el email directamente a hablarle de la película, sino que le dirías algo más, cómo estás, cómo te va la vida, cómo te han salido los exámenes, etc.

Por lo demás, un writing muy bien escrito, que puede ayudar a much@s otr@s alumn@s a mejorar su nivel.

A continuación, vamos a poner otro ejemplo, de otra alumna, María Teresa R.

Hi Mandy,

I think you would like The Goonies. Although it’s an old film there is a film season about the 80s cinema and they are projecting this film. If you enjoy adventure movies, you’ll love The Goonies.

The film was directed by Richard Donner in 1985 and produced by Steven Spilberg. In fact, it’s based on a Spilberg’s story. The main characters are teenagers and children. Its soundtrack is very famous especially the song “The Goonies R Good Enough”, played by Cyndi Lauper. The special effects are fantastic! Although it didn’t use to be as spectacular as nowadays (special effects didn’t used to be as spectacular as they are nowadays), you’ll be impressed. It was filmed in the rea place, Astoria (Oregon), and in a studio.

The Goonies are about a group of friends which have to separate because their houses are going to be knocked down. They find a treasure map and they start to look for the treasure, but there is a problem, a family of thieves want to find it too.

It’s by far the best adventure film I’ve ever seen. I used to see it when I was younger. If you want, you have another fantastic options (other fantastic options) such as E.T. or Back to the Future. Let me know soon your opinion about the film.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Tere

NOTAS:

Al igual que el writing anterior, éste está muy bien. Vamos a destacar lo positivo:

Good grammar:

– First Conditional: If you enjoy adventure movies, you’ll love The Goonies

– Passive voice: The film was directed by Richard Donner in 1985 and produced by Steven Spilberg/ it’s based on a Spilberg’s story/ It was filmed in the rea place/ their houses are going to be knocked down.

– Relative clauses:  … which have to separate…

– Superlative with by far (emphasis) + present perfect:  It’s by far the best adventure film I’ve ever seen

– Used to (past habits): I used to see it.

Good vocabulary related to cinema: adventure movies, soundtrack, special effects

Connectors/ Linkers: Although, in fact, such as

La alumna ha cometido un error en another. Aquí os dejo la explicación de another other, por si no lo recordáis.

Os pongo otro ejemplo, en este caso de  nuestra lectora y alumna Adriana:

Hi Mandy,

I’m really glad for hearing to hear from you.  I’ve been ill with flu. Apart from that I’m well.

You are right. I’m a keen of keen on the cinema. Recently, I’ve been watching ‘ve watched “Her”.  This film was directed by Speke Jonze, and the main actor is J. Phoenix. Also On the other hand, we can hear  Scarlett Johansson’s voice. The film’s genre film genre is something between a romantic comedy and science fiction. In my opinion it has a curious script.

The film is about a man who falls in love. He loves a Computer Operative System. The operative system has a pretty nice voice (S. Johansson). They get on really well. Their romance goes on as the normal couples. They begin to do make plans together: they go

shopping, camping and also they also go out with friends. Of course, they have a little crisis. The issue is that the O.S. is very intelligent and it’s able to develop.

I’m not going to tell you more. I think it will be very interesting for you.

I hope you will enjoy it. When you see it, let me know your opinion, please.

Best regards,

Ane

 

NOTAS:

La alumna ha cometido un error al querer utilizar el genitivo sajón, the film’s genre. Aconsejo ver la siguiente explicación sobre cuándo y cómo se utiliza el genitivo sajón en inglés.

Para cualquier pregunta en alguna de las correcciones, no dudes en dejar un comentario,

que será contestado con la mayor brevedad posible

Vale, pues ahora ya puedes practicar. Te recomiendo que leas estos tres ejemplos, analices los errores, entiendas los aspectos positivos, y entonces escribas tu writing. Si quieres que te lo  corrija, no dudes en mandármelo y en breve lo tendrás corregido y publicado en la web, para así ayudar a otros estudiantes.

Otro ejemplo, de la seguidora Estefany. Muchas gracias por compartir conocimiento con tod@s!!

Dear Hi Mandy,

Well, if I were you, I’d see “300:Rise of an Empire” the movie, because it’s a really good action movie and I Know you enjoy watching this kind of movies. The plot is about a man called Temístocles(Sullivan Stapleton) who tries to join all Greece again, but in his way he has to fight against Xerxes(Rodrigo Santoro) and Artimisa(Eva Green), and many people die. This movie has a lots of special effects and the sound really makes you feel adrenalin.It has a good cast, among the stars that appear on this movie are: Lena Headey, who plays the role of Queen Gorgo and Jack O’Connell(II) as Temistocle’s son’s best friend. I watched it 2 weeks ago, and I know that you will love it .

I hope to hear from you soon

Love,

Steff

NOTAS:

Bien, la seguidora Estefany, que ha escrito este writing, es de nivel A2, por tanto, la voy a evaluar como alumna de este nivel, y no de nivel B1 como los ejemplos anteriores.

Para un nivel A2, el writing está muy bien.

Cosas positivas:

– 2nd conditional: If I were, I’d see

– relative clauses: … who plays the role of…

– 3rd person singular in present simple: has to, tries, …

– enjoy + Verb in -ing

– Saxon genitive: son’s best friend

– Future tense: will love

– Specific vocabulary: cast, plot, sound

Problemas:

– Como siempre digo, hay que tener muy presente, a la hora de escribir cualquier writing, el tipo de texto que se nos pide. En este caso, es un email a un amigo, por tanto, conviene empezar el email como cuando mandamos en la vida real un email a los amigos, saludándolos antes que nada, por ejemplo: how are you? I’m fine/ busy/. I hope you are well.

– Dear + name = se utiliza si el email es más formal. Cuando es informal: Hi + name

– La alumna se ha olvidado de un artículo, en el caso de plot y de un relativo, en el caso de who.

Por lo demás, muy bien para un nivel A2.

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